The Amazing Moose vs. the Turk-kamikazi

           Blinking hard trying to get the eye boogers out of his eyes, President George W. Canada stretches his arms from soreness of yesterday.  Gazing out the 15ft x 60ft window, President Canada squints at the reflection of the bright and glorious Sun, off Lake Zapote and the glistening shine of the white mountain tops.  Pondering about his day, he remembers, “I have to go to that children's school 60 miles away and be interviewed.”  He strongly demands his guards and drivers to not follow him or watch him leave.  They don’t so he takes off.  Getting there in ten minutes, his armpits didn’t even precipitate.  He walks in and the questions start nailing him.
           “Mr. President! what’s your first name”?
           “George.”  He laughed with a smirk.
           30 minutes later, one question caught him off guard.
           “Mr. President are you a superhero”?
           “Well...”
           Then the radio announcer started blaring a message with a lisp, “IT’STH STHEPTEMBER 10TH, 1901 AND THERE ISTH A CODE STHUITCASTHE BRWOWN!”  All the kids turned around and started bawling it was so funny. President George Canada/The Amazing Moose decided it was the perfect time to takes action.  Spinning around, changing into his uniform, The Amazing Moose flashes out of there.  By the time the kids turn back around, President Canada is gone.
           Soaring through the bright, blue, endless expanse, The Amazing Moose gazes down to the earth to a vast area of blur. It is because he is traveling faster than the speed of light (which is faster than 3.0x108).  The Amazing Moose gets to the sight at just the right time. He sees the first Turk-kamikaze plane, Turkish suicide plane, crash into the ground.  Under his breath, The Amazing Moose sternly declared, “This is war.”
           Over the horizon of the Atlas Mountains, buzz thousands of Turk-kamikaze planes coming to destroy Canada.  The Amazing Moose inhales deeply and concentrates.  Using his mind, he knocks down the first 100 planes and then starts to faint, fast.  He learns quickly not to telepathically fight.  He shoots back up and then is contemplating on what to do next, The Amazing Moose finally comes up with something.  He points his finger at the front plane and shoots it like a gun.  All the Turk-kamikaze pilots laugh, until it hits them.  Now over 900 pilots laugh no more.  But there are still over 150 thousand planes left.  The planes continue to attack, so The Amazing Moose chooses to bump it up a level.   Gaining some momentum,The Amazing moose rears his  strong muscular arm and takes swing. The first plane starts to go down causing a chain reaction, destroying over 75,000 air crafts.  “Whoa!” he exclaimed, “that’s a new record!”  Just with the booming sound of his voice, he knocks out the next 25,000.  “Pretty good but not good enough,” he thought, “There’s still 50,000 left.”  “Ahaaaa!” he celebrates because he forgot that he had the power to shoot maple syrup out of the inside of his wrists.  Just like Spiderman, but with maple syrup and it shoots out like a power washer, to powerful to withstand.  So 40,000 Turk-kamikaze planes get stuck together and fall straight to the ground.  With only 10,000 planes left, he flings hockey pucks at them out of his mouth and kills 9,999 airplanes. With only 1 plane left,  The Amazing Moose decides to bring it down safely without abliterating it.  Before he walked inside the plane he used his telepathic powers to kill all the guys inside.  

All the press gathered around to ask questions and take pictures.  

One person asked, “The Amazing Moose who are you”?  As The Amazing Moose starts to lift his mask and reveal that he was President Canada, someone hears a TICK...TICK...TICK...TICK...  and screams.  The Amazing Moose turns around but instead of doing something he freezes and his mouth drops.  He watches as one little ash falls slowly towards the ground and lands precisely on top of the nuclear bomb.  Within a second, BOOM!  Now no one will ever know who The Amazing Moose was.

Folklore Across Cultures

Many cultures around the world have different types of stories with diverse themes and various techniques.  Three tales I read were: “The Badger Names the Sun”, from Mexico, “La Corriveau”, from Canada, and “Cowboys in Heaven”, from Texas.  No matter what culture is being read, there will be different kinds of folklore tales.

Beginning with the different types of stories, these three folklore tales express the differences in their cultures.  The first story, “The Badger Names the Sun”, conveys the idea of the creation story.  How in the beginning of naming objects, such as the Sun, no one and no thing could think of a name for it.  As thinking and discussing fills the air, one figure finally assigns the name for the Sun.  However, in the second tale, “La Corriveau”, this tale emits a frightening kind of story.  With spirits, murder and hanging, it just describes a scary story.  Even though the third story deals with spirits, it is a humorous tale.  It pokes at an old Texan tall tale making fun of, “Cowboys in Heaven.”

The diverse themes for these tales state what the message is of the story.  The first story explains the reason for “knowing why.”  In the story, the badger names the sun then runs because he thinks the people want to punish him.  But, they want to praise him, and he gets scared and never comes out of his hole again.  So, know why something is happening.  Unlike the first story, the second story details to staying true to one person.  This lady, Marie-Josephet, married a man, but she didn’t like him after a while.  So, she killed him, and got away with it.  She then married again, and as last time she got tired of him so she killed him also.  But this time she got caught and was sentenced to death by hanging.  The message for this one is don’t envy and you won’t get hung.  Nevertheless, the third tall tale reveals a funny more interesting message.  Don’t try to leave Heaven to go back to Texas.  If you try, you will be corralled like broncos.

Whereas types of stories and themes help explain the tales, techniques are what really show how parts of the story are told.  The first story shows the technique of personification.  The badger’s ability to speak is called personification, or a metaphor that gives inanimate objects, animals, or abstract ideas human characteristics.  In contrast, “La Corriveau”, uses the technique of foreshadowing, or the use of hints or clues in a narrative to suggest future action, to voice that part of the story.  At the beginning of the tale, she kills her first husband and doesn't get caught, but as she kills her second husband, you can tell she will be caught this time.  Whereas, the technique use for the third tall tale is a pun.  Cowboys go to heaven and stay there.  This is a group of words are the same words, but by putting a sharp diverse meaning on it, it makes the words amusing.

Although there are some minuscule similarities, these stories are extremely diverse.  This diversity is due to the culture from where the stories are from, because all cultures are different.

Chocolate?

         Did you know, that for the Halloween season, over 90 million pounds of chocolate were sold? (Halloween statistic)  That’s only Halloween! This statistic doesn’t even include all the other holidays throughout the year and around the world.  That is a large portion of cocoa beans picked by the hands of children younger than us.  Most of these beans are not located in factories or in the U.S., but actually in West Africa, inside jungles. Most kids there don’t go to school, instead they are used for child labor, they are trafficked, and forced to harvest these coco beans all day for little to no pay.   Chocolate and modern day slavery go hand in hand.

         Most of Hershey’s chocolate production begins in West Africa.  According to Not For Sale Campaign, Hershey’s has an F, on an A- F grading scale, for Fair Trade Certified cocoa.  Meaning that almost none of their cocoa is labored in clean and safe environmental places.  Being one of the largest producers of chocolate in the United States gives this company a platform for community service and national children programs.  But there is a darker side to the Hershey Company.  They fail to be transparent in revealing all of their sources of cocoa.  How can a wealthy American company that appears so good, have human trafficking as a labor source for their cocoa?  Many cocoa farms in Africa can’t afford to pay adults who are protected by fair labor laws.  Therefore, these farmers resort to the cheapest labor they can find, children.

         I think that Hershey’s should stop being so selfish about money and pay adults to do the work these children do, so these children will stop hurting themselves with their large machetes.  Or even like the article says, Hershey’s should find out for themselves where their cocoa comes from and change it where that cocoa can be certified.  It’s the 21^st century!  There shouldn’t be slavery still!  Stop being so stupid and certify the cocoa.  Also Hershey’s says they support children, so why don’t they support the ones that are suffering and not knowing if they will live another second.  Support those that bring you production.

         For no reason should Chocolate and modern day slavery go hand in hand.  It doesn’t seem right.  I believe that Hershey needs to get their act together and do what is right.